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Food Causes Death

I think I’m going to apply for a research grant, hopefully big enough to allow me to live in reasonable comfort for the rest of my natural days. Every month the media carries a story about some amazing piece of research which suggests some pretty outrageous scientific discovery. But at the end of each news item comes the proviso that more research is required. And there’s the catch. Scientists will say almost anything to raise money to keep themselves in employment. So, here’s my pitch: “post mortem examinations nearly always find food in the stomach. There must surely be a link between food and death. Please send me six million, pounds or dollars would be equally acceptable, for further research”.  Is it really that easy to get money for research? Think about how many of those scientific “breakthroughs” reported on the news that are never heard of again.

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