Newspaper columnists are a big deal in Canada. I remember when I worked for a newspaper, people used to ask me what column did I write. To me, most columnists are a waste of time. I wanted the facts, not someone’s opinion. Opinions are like feet, nearly everyone’s got one or two. But I was perhaps a little too harsh. Some columnists actually were journalists who did a lot of research and stuck closer to analysis than opinion. That was why it was so interesting to be the first one into the office in the morning and unjam the printer. Once that was done, a lot of stuff from the previous night’s print-queue would spew out. This was usually gay porn or columns from obscure publications in the United States on subjects that with a couple of slight changes could have some local relevance. Suffice to say, I usually knew what at least two of our columnists would have to say in the days that followed. If only they had taken to trouble to find out how to unjam the office printer, I might have even thought they’d come up with the idea themselves.